I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Two words: blizzard sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
