Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
