I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
where does the pee come out of this thing
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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