And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
