i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize