I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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