Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
