I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize