I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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