I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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