Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
