she was so not down for the gang bang
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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