Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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