I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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