Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
