my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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