She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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