he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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