I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
