new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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