Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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