He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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