I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
