oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
