even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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