need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize