susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
