Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
