oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
