Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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