It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
