Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
