you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fuck appropriateness.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize