I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
