I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
