So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
