So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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