i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
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