well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
someone owes me an orgasm
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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