...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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