you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
