Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
