Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
