This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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