Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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