I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
