It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this will be a night to untag.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
