Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
