ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
