She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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