I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
