I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize