Can i not drive my cunt home
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
