The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
