i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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