he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize